Your Time To Launch…
As I anticipated empty nesting, I would occasionally hear people say things like, “Oh! You are so lucky! You’re going to be able to do whatever you want!” or they’d say, “Wow! What are you going to do with all that free time?”
I actually started to hate that question. Mostly because it was really calling me to look at, “What am I going to do? How can I possibly imagine filling the space with something that I love as much as I’ve loved parenting?” I did love my work – but it took a second place to the kind of exhilaration I experienced from the hands on, day in and day out experience of relating to little human beings that were unfolding right before my eyes! And, I must confess – I liked being needed. Not in some crazy co-dependent way….but more in the ways my kids looked to me for advice or simply to be a listening ear as they described their current struggles. We were close -and I didn’t relish all of that changing when they left.
We must have had hundreds of conversations (or at least it felt that way) about where they would go to college, where they would live, what they would major in and what their life would look like as they discovered the path that most lit them up. So from the big picture to the microscopic (“how will I eat breakfast on Tuesdays when I have an 8:00 a.m. class??”) – our family focused first on our son, Zach, and then a couple years later on his sister, Hannah. Like training for a race, our consistent time and attention was on getting ready for THE BIG DAY when they actually moved.
And THE BIG DAY did arrive! All of our preparation seemed to pay off as both of them managed to successfully launch…
BUT WHAT ABOUT ME???
So much of our attention can go into preparing our kids to launch, that we may be caught off guard with how challenging our transition feels. What about the Mama Launch? Where were the hundreds of conversations devoted to that??
I’ve learned a lot these past few years about the Mama Launch – both from my own experience (and mistakes!) as well as those of friends and clients. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are 4 barriers women set up to create their own successful launch. These are:
• Not making myself and my creativity a priority.
• Not having a dream and sense of purpose that excites me.
• Not facing into the patterns that hinder my development AND likely stunt my child’s development
• Not cultivating the kind of relationships that truly support my growth.
These are the areas I will focus on in my upcoming posts and future workshops.